The Truth in the Pain
by bruninhagalle
Summary: Set after episode 5x21 and before the season 5 finale. Brennan is injuried, Booth is mad and feelings can't be contained anymore. Another take at how they could have ended up together without sending them to opposite sides of the world.


**Note: **Hi, guys! Is anyone alive after THAT finale? I'm surely still recovering, I mean... WHOA! This story is not related to season 9, though. In fact, it's a pretty much belated Christmas present (well, yes, shame on me) to my lovely friend **Sharon De Wolf**. She asked for: Brennan and Booth (pre established relationship), life threatening situation, phone call, getting their feelings out in the open.

So here it goes, S! I hope you like it. I love you.

A special thanks to **thaischrist** for her amazing beta reading skills.

And I'd love to hear what you guys thought.

* * *

**The Truth in the Pain**

**Set after episode 5x21 and before the season 5 finale.**

* * *

He was mad. No. He was _furious_. And if the way he was repeatedly punching the steering wheel was any indicator, then he was probably out of his mind.

That was exactly the reason going straight to her house after finding out what had happened was surely a huge mistake. One he briefly considered avoiding, only to hear the disturbing voice mail all over again and his resolve was back, the car speeding towards her place and the steering wheel earning another unfair jab.

_"Hi, Agent Booth. This is Owen and I'm about to kill your partner. It's a shame you are not here to witness it firsthand. It would be nice if you had at least picked up the phone to say goodbye to her one last time."_

He was shaking with anger by the time he knocked on her door, pounding harder and harder until he heard her fiddling with the latch and finally, _finally_, the door swung open and she was standing right in front of him. Breathing. Alive.

His lecture died on his lips at the sight of her: left cheek bruised and red, her temple turning purple and her lips split open with a small but ugly looking cut. He let his eyes travel across her face, cataloguing every evidence of what happened to her, each one of them a clear reminder of his incompetence. He should have been there. He should have protected her.

But then again, if she wasn't so damn sure of herself, of her need to rely solemnly on her skills for everything, nothing would have reached this point. She would be safe, unharmed and he wouldn't be feeling so helpless and mad. He was _so_ mad.

He looked at her then, his anger returning and found her tired eyes. Suddenly, he was back to the night the Gravedigger was found guilty two weeks ago and how she sounded exhausted about the life she was living, her eyes now reflecting everything she had said to him back then.

She didn't speak when she stepped aside to let him in. She knew him. His eyes were on fire and his jaw was set. He had seen the state of her face and probably had gotten a very unpleasant call from his boss minutes before arriving. She knew what she had done and whatever he had to say, she probably deserved to hear it.

Closing the door, she turned and crossed her arms, finding him standing a few feet away.

"What the _hell_ did you think you were doing?" – His words were venom but she did not wince when their eyes locked. She never had, she never would.

She thought about asking him to leave. She was worn-out and the only thing she wanted was her warm bed. Her warm and lonely bed. However, this was Booth and he was as stubborn as she was. The best way to get rid of him was telling him what he needed to know.

"The victim's husband called me. He said he remembered something about the day his wife disappeared and he asked me if I could meet him at the Diner. I agreed. There seemed to be nothing wrong with it."

"And have you thought, in that brilliant mind of yours, of calling me? Me, your partner, the person who is supposed to be by your side around _suspects_?"

He saw her own eyes dangerously clouding with rage but then she remembered something, and then they were tired again.

"Yes, Booth. Of course." – She sighed. Of course she did. She even hit speed dial number 1, only to hang up after a split second, their conversation about their night's arrangements in her office so clear in her mind. – "You told me earlier you had a date with Catherine today. I realized there was no need to make you go with me just to get some information when I could do it by myself."

"Well, you clearly couldn't, could you, Bones?"

Booth spat the words and part of him waited for her explosion. He knew if he kept talking to her like this, she would start fighting with him and right now, that was exactly what he needed. He needed to fight with her, feel her fire threatening to engulf him, her, both of them in a very _vivid_ way.

She only took a deep breath, her face calm and collected and discouraged. So not Brennan he almost felt compelled to go to her, grab both of her arms and shake her. Where was his Bones? Why weren't her baby blue eyes firing with an anger to match his own?

"I'm sorry it ruined your night, Booth but I'm fine. Nothing happened. You should return to Catherine and enjoy the rest of your date."

She gestured towards the door and waited. He just stood there, looking at her with an incredulity even someone as dense as Brennan could notice. She arched an eyebrow and observed when he put his hands on his hips, looked at her ceiling and then, with three large steps, came to stand right in front of her.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

His choice of words surprised them both but it only registered on her face. A reaction at last, he thought. He took one more step and was right into her personal space.

She expected him to keep his tirade going but as he took a closer look at her injuries, his eyes became soft, a long sigh escaping his lips. This time, as his warm brown eyes, devoid of any previous anger, traveled across her face, his fingers followed.

Brennan closed her eyes and her breath caught in her throat when she felt his thumb touching her bruised cheek. He was so tender and caring in the way he was touching her, she felt overwhelmed by his close presence and took a step back.

Booth reacted quickly, grabbing her hand and pulling her to him, their bodies colliding and his arms immediately went around her waist, preventing her from moving away from him again.

He had no idea where his previous emotions had gone, or why he had stopped yelling at her when she definitely still deserved it, or why he was breaking a million rules just by holding her this close but he needed that, needed her and he was damn sure she needed him too.

"Booth…" – She whispered, their intimate position terrifying and amazing her at the same time. She felt so good in his arms, always had, and this time it was no different. Just feeling his very solid structure against her made her feel better about the whole incident and a part of her was begging her to give in and rest her head against his chest.

Another part was screaming she had to stop it. It was too much after everything they have been through, especially since he gambled on them and lost, since the day she found she couldn't accept what he was offering. It was not fair to accept his comfort now.

"You almost died, Bones." – His voice was low, no more dangerous. She felt his breath on her face and did her best not to shiver. – "You almost died and I wasn't there to protect you. So don't you dare to say this is nothing."

"I'm okay, Booth. We fought a little, I got a hold of his weapon and he is in custody now. Everything is fine."

"You don't get it, do you, Bones?" – He was staring at her so intently, his eyes boring into hers with so much passion she became even more aware that every part of her body was in contact with every part of his from head to toe. – "You think you are the only one scared to death that the next time one of us is in danger, the other might be a little too late?"

She remembered her own words, nights ago in front of the Founding Fathers and when she confessed to him she was tired of the lives they were living and the constant danger he was in and how one day she might not be able to save him.

What she hadn't said, though, was that in saving him and keeping him alive, she was saving herself and she could not lose him. Could not even entertain the idea of not having him in her life. That's why she wouldn't commit to him in any other way than the one she already had. She was his partner and best friend. Nothing less, nothing more. Nothing different that could jeopardize what they were.

"You're not, Bones. Every time I take you to the field with me, I'm praying to God you go back home in one piece. When some bastard threatens you or touches you, I want to kill them. I…" – _Love you_. – "Care about you. You are my partner. And I will always worry that someday I might not be able to prevent the worst from happening."

The way he was looking at her, with an emotion she wouldn't dare to name, how his hands were absently caressing her arms, his delicious and familiar smell, his lips so close, and his taste on the tip of her tongue, made her palm his chest and push away from him.

Her movement mimicked the night in the steps of the Hoover and she saw the same recognition flashing through his eyes.

"That's exactly the reason I'm reconsidering what we do, Booth." – His chest constricted. He knew what was coming. Would she give everything up? Him up? – "We shouldn't live like this, always worried about the other's safety. It's not rational."

"Catching murders and giving these victims a face and name is the most rational thing I've ever done in my life, Bones."

She was momentarily taken aback by his vehemence and the simple logic behind his words. But it still didn't change the fact that she was tired.

"I might take a year leave of absence. I need to get away from all of it. These violent deaths, murders, secret agendas. I have to."

"From me too?" – The hurt in his voice and in his eyes made her own fill with tears. Being away from him was the only price she might not be willing to pay.

"No, Booth." – She said softly. – "I don't want to be away from you but that might be necessary for what I have to do. And," – She hesitated, studying him. – "Being away from me is probably what you need to," – She inhaled. Exhaled. Did she want him to do what she was about to say? – "To move on."

Her words felt like a rejection all over again. Suddenly he was back in that night, her lips against his and then her hands pushing him away. He remembered every word he had said and how she had argued her away out of a relationship with him with her logic.

"_I'm not a gambler. I'm a scientist. I can't change. I don't know how. I don't know how."_

Looking at her now, her beautiful face with evidence of what he could lose in an instant and her need to run away from them snapped something inside of him.

He was not only a gambler, he was a fighter too. A soldier. And unlike her, he was not going down without one. They complemented each other after all, and maybe that's exactly what he needed to do: take the fall for them again and this time, be sure to pull her with him.

"You're wrong." – He stated as if it was a universal truth. She titled her head; surprised he had just contradicted what she knew was best for both of them.

It took every ounce of his will power not to close the distance between them again, especially when she looked this vulnerable and confused.

"I'm being practical, Booth. You said you," – Her throat closed, her voice broke and she cursed herself. – "You said you were going to move on and find someone who is gonna love you for 30, 40, 50 years. If I'm not here then I believe it's going to be easier for you."

He actually smirked this time. Could she really believe what she was saying? Did she think he would not notice her troubled eyes when she repeated his words and how her voice changed because she knew, she goddamn _knew_ the meaning behind them?

He was a pretty good damn investigator too.

He just couldn't grasp, for the life of him, how he could have been so stupid that night.

How he had let his hurt ego cloud what was right in front of him. She loved him. She wanted his 30, 40, 50 years so badly but was so afraid she was willing to give up on their partnership so he could be the one to give up on _them, _to move on.

_Oh, Bones._

"So this is your plan, Bones? You go away, for God knows how long, and while you are at it, I magically find the woman who is supposed to be the love of my life, my 30, 40, 50 years?"

_No! _

"Yes." – She gulped and the way her throat worked up and down didn't go unnoticed by him.

"I think you're lying." – He declared so calmly – when his heart was beating wildly – that Booth started considering he was probably a good actor too.

He saw her eyes widen at his words.

_Gotcha, Bones_.

"Do you really want me to move on?" – He took one step forward. She took one back and hit the wall next to her door.

_There is no way out, Bones._

"I… Booth," – She closed her eyes, hoping this was all a nightmare and reopened them. Her partner was still there, close but not crowding her. His eyes were pinning her to the place she was solemnly with their intensity. – "I want you to be happy. That's all I want."

He nodded and took another step closer to her.

"And what makes you think you can't make me happy?"

"Booth…" – She whispered his name again, begging him to stop with her tone and her vulnerable baby blue eyes.

"Come on, Bones. Give me all the arguments you probably have in your mind to convince me you can't make me happy."

He waited as she searched in her mind all the reasons to convince him, to make him give up.

_Not this time, Bones._

"Why are you doing this, Booth? I already told you. I don't… I don't have your kind of open heart. I'm a scientist. I can't change. I can't be the woman who is going to make you happy now or 50 years from now."

He took the remaining steps needed to be right into her personal space again. He was so close his next words were practically breathed against her lips. And she could not move. Temperance Brennan was rooted in place because of those big, reassuring brown eyes of his.

"Bones, who said you need to change?"

"I'm terrible at relationships, Booth. Every single one I've had ended. It's simple logic, can't you see? If I don't change, the outcome doesn't change. We would eventually end and I can't," – She felt the tears returning to her eyes and blinked them before he could see. – "I won't do this to us."

"You're forgetting one thing in your logic that it _is_ changing." – He tucked a strand of hair behind her ears, noticing how she briefly closed her eyes with his touch.

"I don't know what that means."

"Me, Bones. I'm the different variable who can potentially change the outcome. And you're forgetting to take _me_ into account."

He pressed his index finger against her mouth when she was about to speak.

"I know you. I know you don't open up yourself easily. And yet, I know everything about you, don't I?"

She nodded. Because, God, he was the only one who truly did.

"I know your first and second favorite flowers. I know you love pigs and Smurfs. I know how you like your coffee. And how wonderful your mac and cheese tastes. I know what you did for your father. I know you were locked up inside the truck of a car because one of your foster families was terrible. I know you care more about our victims and their families than you let people see. I know how you purse your lips when you are mad or about to cry. I know… I know the color of your eyes when you are sad. Or happy. Or excited."

A lone tear escaped her left eye and he gently wiped it away.

"And I know for a fact no one you ever dated knows _any_ of this. I'm well aware of your fears and beliefs and lack of cultural references. I know sometimes you lack modest or appear to be cold and detached. But I also know how big your heart really is. And I,"

He touched her forehead with his, their lips almost touching, their eyes never unlocking.

"I love your heart. It is as kind as mine. It's probably even better than mine. And I want it, I want you, to give me a chance. You, Bones, the brilliant, smart, confident, beautiful woman I've known for 6 years, not some edited version of you. I…"

He stopped for a split second, recognizing this was the final moment, a moment he wouldn't be able to take back.

"I love _you_."

"Oh, Booth." – She fisted his t-shirt, as if it could prevent her from falling, knowing it was useless as she had already fallen for this man a long time ago.

"Do you really want me to find another woman to love? Another woman who I'll get to know as much as I know you? Probably even better?"

"No." – She murmured, her hands holding his shirt even tighter. – "I still don't think I can be,"

"You're the standard, remember?" – He felt her nodding against his head. – "You're the woman I want. Just you, Bones. You make me happy on daily basis. Everything about you makes me happy."

Minutes passed while she took all of this in. The only sound she was registering was his breath mingling with hers.

"Are you sure about this, Booth? What happens when you get tired of me? How will we move on from that? I can't lose you."

She didn't dare to look at him. She couldn't. He felt his heart breaking at her words.

"Hey, Bones." – Booth took a step back, his arms circling around her waist to keep her close. – "Look at me."

When she did, the previous fatigue replaced by hope and trust, he knew he was going to win this.

"I can't promise everything is always going to be smooth and perfect. We'll fight. We'll bicker. We'll probably want to strangle each other sometimes." – He was delighted to see a tiny, shy smile gracing her lips. – "But tell me, Bones, don't we already do all of it?"

"Yes, we do."

"And when one of these things happens, do you feel like giving up on our partnership and leaving me?"

"No. No. Of course not, Booth."

"What makes you think we will just give up on us when things get difficult? I have no intention of leaving you, Temperance."

"You can't say that, Booth."

"I sure as hell can, Bones. And you know why?" – She just looked at him, waiting for the answer she knew she wouldn't be able to disagree with. – "Because I know another thing about you: you won't leave me either. When things get hard, you'll fight for us, for this relationship we are going to have. Because it all means too much to you. I mean too much to you, don't I, Bones?"

As his words sank in, she felt the truth of them in every cell of her body. He meant the world to her, she wanted to be the one to make him happy, he loved her the way she was, he did know her, and she couldn't envision a scenario where she would just leave him and give up on them.

She might not be a gambler but like him, she was a fighter too.

"You do, Booth. You mean…"

She stopped, unsure of how much to reveal, and he took the opportunity to close the distance between them and kiss her. For a moment, he almost felt her hands on his chest, pushing him away and when she grasped his t-shirt, he nearly cried. She couldn't do this again. But she just pulled him closer, her mouth opening to give him access and everything fade away.

He felt like falling. Expect this time, he didn't hit the ground.


End file.
